Ahhhh, December- the lovely month of dysfunction at it’s finest, constant stress and Passive Aggressive behavior. In honor of this blessed season, I have re-written a popular Holiday Song that sums up my own personal feelings regarding the things mentioned above.
Sooo, instead of ‘Walking in a Winter Wonderland’, I give you, without further adieu…….
WALKING IN DYSFUNCTION WONDERLAND
Sleigh Bells ring, are you listening?
In the Lane, Rage is glistening.
A typical sight,
We’re all pissed off tonite,
Walking in Dysfunction WonderLand.
Gone away is the Romance,
Here to stay is ‘You’ve Got No Chance’,
She sings a hateful song,
As she goes along,
Walking in Dysfunction WonderLand.
In the BackYard we can build your DogHouse,
And pretend that you are not a Louse.
Some say ‘Are You Married’?
I say ‘Hell Yes Man’!
But we do a good job of fooling the town.
Later on, I’ll conspire,
As I light your clothes on fire,
To face un-afraid,
The Bitch I’ve been made,
Walking in Dysfunction WonderLand.
In the front yard I will build a Snowman,
That reminds me of you cuz you’re an arrogant clown.
I’ll have lots of fun with Mr. Snowman,
When I take the bat and knock it down.
Your cold shoulder, it’s not thrillin’,
Though your snub is sure chillin’.
Don’t frolic and play, the old Douche-Bag way,
Walking in Dysfunction WonderLand.
Thank you, Thank you- your applause for my comedic genius is not necessary, not necessary at all! Really, stop! You are making me blush!
Lol, I loved the snowman-arrogant-clown-baseball-bat verse best! Few things more fun than making a dysfunction parody.
Though I personally think that song is silly to begin with.
“…Later on, we’ll conspire, as we dream by the fire…”
Since when does conspire mean anything good? Yet somehow it finds a way into one of the iconic Christmas songs we have today. Okaaay…
Oh honey- my entire life is a dysfunctional parody- every last bit of it!
Will you write my songs for me. Awesomesauce!
Sure! Give me a song you would like me to re-write, and I will try my best. However, I must warn you, my creativeness is in direct proportion to how pissed off I am with my husband at the time, so beware….
Going to share right now, this is screaming funny, thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your hilarious noodle with all of us
You are very welcome! Thanks for stopping by!
Lady, you’ve got skills. Mad skills!
If you mean I have skills with being ‘MAD’, then I 100% agree with you IzaakMak! My husband does also.
Reblogged this on OhMyGawd, Just Do What I Say! and commented:
We are getting ready to head out so we can cut down our Christmas tree, and no one- not ONE of us- is in a ‘cut down our Christmas tree kind of mood. We are all in more of a ‘cut your toe off on purpose’ kind of mood.
Anyway, this whole ‘not in such a good mood thing’ reminded me of a fun litttle ditty I ‘wrote’ last year around this exact time!
Enjoy, again!!
You need a recording contract. That would be a viral YouTube vid in seconds.
OOOOO- now THERE’S a thought!! Hmmmmm…
Tweet me with the link so I can send it to all my tweeps and tubers.
Well neighbor …. This is the perfect contradiction to Romantic Monday! …. thus the combo is the craziness of life.
Craziness is right! My mood has passed, like a bad case of gas.. All better now!
LOLZ! That is PERFECT!!
Thank You- I’m glad you think so!
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