ADHD- Only the Strong and the Medicated will survive- all others need not apply.
I have ADHD and my Skater-Boy does as well. Usually I embrace this disorder with open arms, but lately I would like to throw it out the window and straight into the pits of Hell. It is hard enough to manage it as an adult, so you can imagine how hard it is to educate a 10 year old child on the subject as well as all the adults in his life. Below is just me ‘venting’ about the trials/ignorances/ and mindsets of those both diagnosed with the disorder , as well as those living with the Disorder-ees.
We are not like the rest,
Yet we desire to do our best.
Not meaning to disappoint or anger,
We want you to love and accept her,
Right where she is at,
But not because of obedience, no, not that.
My brain chemistry is very different,
My Dopamine non-existent.
Please, it’s not our fault,
and it often sends us into a downward catapult.
Is there a Monster under his bed?
No, but there is one is his head,
Telling him he is stupid and bad,
and that he is nothing but a Discipline case to his Dad.
We want to BE like everyone else,
Honest, it’s true.
To be told we are accepted and not a nuisance to you,
And to finish our work or not lose our cool,
But your expectation of perfection?
Well, it is that of a fool.
We need your help to fight the Demons,
both Sub-Conscience and Real,
Yet you throw your hands up and defiantly refuse to deal.
We know what we ‘SHOULD’ do,
The ignorant tell us everyday,
But I beg you to understand,
We do it all very differently, in every single way.
Ours ways are not your ways,
And yours will never be mine.
But we won’t be who YOU need us to be,
Not in any amount of time.
Our souls in constant torment,
We want to make you happy,
Yet God made us this way,
And your arrogance is crappy.
It’s ADHD and only the strong will survive,
It’s NOT because we’re lazy or dreadfully Un-Alive.
Un-Education is your worst enemy,
and will only cause more strife.
I suggest you learn more about us,
So you can have your Utopian life.
God gave this to us,
Who am I to wish for different?
Yet still I ask for more compassion,
In EVERY shape, form and fashion.
Punish us if that makes you feel better,
But I beg you to see,
This human before you,
Is desperately fighting to be free.
I cannot make it go away,
But for you we will foolishly try,
And cause more and more anxiety,
Until all we can say is GoodBye.
If you or someone you love has ADHD, remember one thing- it is a disorder of the brain and cannot be disciplined away, no matter how hard you try.
Go ahead, try to tell me that ADHD is only a Discipline issue or a Diet issue and that it has NOTHING to do with Brain Chemistry or Activity.
Pingback: ADHD And Cognitive Anxiety - Now Three Types | CorePsych Blog
GingerSnaap: Your writing above, your poem, whatever, is above excellent! Clearly you & I have met in a previous life or somewhere else in order for you to know me so well. I have already emailed this to my family members and close friends. I never miss an opportunity to explain a situation to them and to remind them and on and on….. But I realized long ago, that if you can ‘blend’ for as little as one hour, then they are back to saying that you are just fine, it’s all in your head, if you only would try harder, if you would just listen to what you are told and all the rest that I’m sure you know as well.
I am a 58 year old mother and was diagnosed many years ago with this. I am currently on full federal disability as my deal apparently is severe enough that everyone notices that I screw up constantly. I used to think that I hid it fairly well, imagine my shock and humiliation when Social Security approved me for disability in a heartbeat with no hassle, questions or any of the other grief I have heard people discuss. I also have a daughter who is now 27 years old and she is a clone of me. I tried my best over the years to educate her to herself, with hopes that by understanding herself, she would beat herself up less and be better able to explain herself to others. She has lived in a vicious cycle with this for all of her years. She goes from denial, stops taking her meds, goes down the tubes, crashes within 6 months max, falls into depression and back to the meds. I cannot get her to accept what she cannot change. Knowing what her life will be like for the rest of her years, breaks my heart beyond words.
I so wish that other people could understand and would accept. But, if the patient themself can’t, I suppose I may expect too much.
Anyway – what you wrote is the best writing I have ever seen where you have simply nailed it on the head. I just became your best cheerleader!
THANK YOU! Good luck to you with your family and with your struggles!
Ellay
Thank You so much for the kind words! Prayers for you and your family, as I have found that is the ONLY thing that keeps me from the downward spiral! I would encourage you, if you haven’t already, to check out the CHAAD organization for support groups in your area- you can look them up online for loads of info! Stay strong sister!
YES!!!!!!!!!!! You have moved me to tears with this. My ADHD is so off the wall that I can’t cook a meal because I can’t stand in the kitchen long enough to see the action through to completion. All three of my children have it as well, and when worlds collide at my home its no small thing. Thank you for this.
Well,at least you are not crying alone! Most days its an uphill battle,but I just keep my roller skates on because it makes the ride back down more treacherous and fun. I am extremely lucky to have a group of ADHD specialists in my town that my son and I see on a regular basis. Peeps come from different states to see my DR bc they are that good. I am in debt bc of the therapy, but it has kept me out of jail (kinda sorta anyway),so it is all worth it in the end!
Pingback: ADHD Poem Reblog « H.E. ELLIS
What a beautiful and touching poem. As one who struggles everyday against his own inner demons, I am very moved by this!
Thank You for your kind words! I stopped by your site today and now I am ‘following’ you-I was a stalker in my former addiction days. Keep On Keepin On Brother!
Beautifully done! What can non-ADHD folks do to help?
(Aside from patience and understanding?)
Thank You and this is a Great question!!I think the first thing is to resist the urge to ‘fix us’. I can’t tell you the # of people who say things like ‘Just try this’,'if you would just do it this way’,'just STOP doing these things’, etc. If we could ‘just’ do things differently, we would. It’s a neurological condition, plain and simple, that can’t be disciplined/organized/wished away. Education is key- there are MANY easy to read books out there about ADHD- I always recommend that people who have loved ones with the disorder read the books along side their peeps because then everyone’s eyes will be opened! My husband goes with me to my ADHD therapy sessions as well as to our sons’ appointments- ADHD management is a group effort, in my opinion! I think you have just given me the topic of my next ADHD post! THANK YOU FOR THAT!
That was moving, inspirational, tender, joyful, sad, and… other words I can’t think of right now. No, I am not crying… I have hay fever, dammit!
I had hay fever when I wrote it
Adhd is both a blessing and a curse, with no inbetween. For me,at least.
My brain works in some weird ways. I am bi-polar. Very mood-swingy…and I am all art side of the brain, as you will see from my very first posts, where I explain it all. Not that I am comparing my problems to yours. But that poem thing worked on so many levels. You, my dear, are deep… and no doubt shiny as well… even though I am not quite sure what that means…
My doc keeps telling me that I am not Bi-Polar, but ADHD and Bi Polar are very similar. All I know is that my psyche is one big hot mess. Whoot.
Think of the world full of ‘normal’ people… eeewww.
True! All of the ‘normal’ people I know are dull and afraid of walking outside at night. I come alive at nite
Me too… until nine or nine thirty,,, damn, I’m old… sigh…
Pingback: ADHD And Cognitive Anxiety – Now 3 Types « CorePsych