Hello Shiny Friends!
I hope and trust you have all recovered from your first GingerSnaap, LIVE experience. It might be helpful for you to find a good PSYCHOtherapist if you have not recovered. Feel free to send the bill to my parents since they are responsible for creating this hot mess.
Anyway, I am presently, in this present moment, presenting this post to you while sitting at the YMCA waiting for the Flesh Eaters to get out of the pool. We’ve been here since 4, Mountain Man got here at 5:30 and we are having some good ole fashioned family bonding-the kind of bonding that involves underwater wedgies, illegal head dunking,premeditated drowning, Marco-I-am-Not-Looking-For-You-Polo, frisbee hits to the eyes, and bathing suit malfunctions when the 7 year old pulls down your swim skirt. Sigh.
What, are we the fucking Brady Bunch or something?
The two things I want to share with you regarding our pool day at the Young Mens Christian Association are as follows:
1) I had a ‘good’ conversation tonite with Mountain Man about all of this Chick-Fil-A stuff. When he got to the pool, I was reading a refreshing article that some of my Pastor friends had posted on Facebook that basically spelled out how ‘The Church Body’ really fucked things up yesterday.(Can I get an AMEN?) I was relieved to hear people I know and respect from ‘church’ speak out against the hate being directed towards the gay and lesbian community and how Jesus would NEVER do something like that. I summarized the article for MM and, as I sat there spewing my guts out over it, I started to cry, in the middle of all that YMCA madness-ME-fucking crying! Geeeeez. What I was most upset about were the numerous FaceBook ‘Friends’ I have who were gloating over their participation in the Chick-Fil-A ‘appreciation day’ on Wednesday. I felt overwhelmingly disappointed that some people I go to church with would do something like that. I realize I sound naïve, and I guess I am, but it still shocks me. I do not attend a church that bashes gay people nor preaches discrimination against them, or anyone for that matter. No. Not ever.
Friends, I follow a higher power that says “Love One Another” and “Love Your Neighbor As Yourself”,and every person who went to a Chick-Fil-A yesterday did the exact opposite of that. Sigh. Ginger sad. Ginger hates to cry. Ginger feels angry.
I really don’t have anymore to say about the subject, however , I will say that I am in the process of re-evaluating some friendships right now. The End.
2) Mountain Man always carries around one of those metal/re-usable water bottles with him where ever he goes- his is bright Orange. He, of course, brought it to the YMCA with him after going home and changing out of work clothes into swim clothes. Duh. What did you think he would change into when going to the pool, a chastity belt? Don’t answer that,please.
My Flesh Eaters already had their own water bottles, but they ran out of the precious, sparkling, filtered necter to drink and they were “Firsty”. Now, Ginger knows, that when visiting the YMCA, MM’s Orange water bottle will have some kind of Adult Beverage in it and not the usual non-YMCA water for when he is at work. Unfortunatley, the Flesh Eaters don’t know that the Orange water bottle turns from a G-rated Orange water bottle into an R-rated Orange water bottle after 5p.m., Monday through Friday. Oops.
So Goobers, my 12 year old daughter, gets out da pool and sees the Orange water bottle, picks up the Orange bottle, opens the Orange water bottle and takes a huge fucking chug out da Orange water bottle.
She then proceeded to make this face like someone would who just ate a fresh dog turd wrapped in cow placenta. And THEN she projectile spewed the foreign substance all over the damn place. PARTY FOUL-no more beer for her!! Poor kid. In defense of her amatuer beer chugging antics, I will say that MM doesn’t drink ‘normal or lite beer’ with names you can pronounce. No, he likes obscure, weird shit that was grown in the belly of a whale during ovulation, filtered through a devils ashtray,left to ferment in a sewage discharge plant for 18 months and then bottled in a brothel bathroom.
That shit tastes nasty. And now Goobers has informed me that she is no longer speaking to her father because of what he did to her.
I think that was the most brilliant thing he has ever done! Lucky bastard.
I sometimes wonder if we really are fit to have children. 241-kids, anyone?
That’s all for now, folks-have a Shiny evening!
*Please ignore any and all spelling errors because I am typing this on a teeny tiny Blackberry keyboard and the fucking Spell Check is being a bitch to me. And I can’t see so good*