(For part 1 of “Getting To Know You”, go here!)
Friends, if you are bored, please answer the following questions!
Friends, if you are not bored, please answer the following questions anyway!
My answers are in Italics.
1) What is your favorite pet name for your spouse/partner/significant other?
Babycakes.
2) What is your favorite name for you spouse/partner/significant other when you are mad at them?
Not “Babycakes”.
It may sound something like “Jackass”.
3) What do you like to do to annoy your children, or, for those of you without children, what do you like to do to annoy other people’s children?
Sing Bohemian Rhapsody as loud as I can when we are all in the car together.
“MAMAAAAAAAAA, OOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOO-OOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOO”. <———— Just like that.
4) Who is your most hated PBS cartoon character?
Caillou
“Hate” is not a strong enough word for this cartoon.
5) Favorite ingredients to cook with?
Pre food allergies: Butter
Post food allergies: Vegan Butter
6) Who was your favorite Cosby?
The Momma, Claire
7) Favorite way to clean a toilet?
Make one of the Flesh Eaters do it.
8) How many personalities do you have?
3, at least.
Ginger
Snaap
Mollie
9) Do you like cottage cheese?
Only the kind that is on my ass.
It’s very fashionable.
10) Last person you lied to and what you lied about?
Myself- ”No, your ass isn’t any bigger than it was last year!”
11) Favorite Adult Beverage?
Pre-recovery- Vodka with cranberry juice and a slice of lime or Vodka with Red Bull.
Post-recovery- Diet Coke. Sigh.
12) Dream job?
MILF
13) TV Shows you hate?
The Bachelor/ Bachelorette
Dancing with the stars
14) TV shows you like?
Ummmmmm, the Olympics?
Just about anything on primetime PBS
15) Brilliant thought of the day?
Passive Aggressive people suck big hairy gorilla balls.
16) Favorite hobby?
Arguing with people in my house.
Eating Potato Chips
Pouting
17) Things you are good at?
Cooking
18) Things you are great at?
Cursing and snooping.
19) Things you are awesome at?
Pissing people off.
20) Favorite curse word?
All of the curse words that start with “F”.
21) Favorite people to laugh at?
Myself- I make it very easy to laugh at me.
22) What is your natural hair color?
Whatever color it is at the moment is my “natural hair color”.
Today it is black, last year it was red, and the year before that it was blonde.
23) Are you aging gracefully?
On the inside? No.
On the outside? Yes.
24) What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Whichever side is closest to the window.
25) Complete the following sentence: I have never…..
I have never had love in an elevator.
ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS! NOW!
1. Baby
2. Not Baby…ass, asshat or any variation thereof
3. Not let them use the car because I am “using” it….hehehe
4. Are the fucking Teletubbies still on there? Def. those things….
5. Ingredients? I have to use ingredients…hmmm…onions and mushrooms…and ketchup. Lots o’ketchup!
6. Grandpa.
7. With lots of bleach
8. Too many to count…I’m like fucking Sybil
9. No. Yuk!
10. Hubby….”I didn’t spend any money on my credit card! That must have been you…again!”
11. Wine…and martinis…not together.
12. Drunk writer living in Paris
13. All reality shows…
14. I’ve been married to a policeman way too long…Criminal Minds, NCIS, Lost and anything that involves bad guys and cops….
15. Assholes are the idiots sitting in the fire lane next to the grocery store on a beautiful sunny day while wifey shops….fuckheads….I’m allowed to swear here, right?
16. reading my fave. Blogs like yours! *brownie points!*
17. Answering questions
18. Swearing and barbecuing. I’m the Q queen! Oh! Drinking…obviously…pfft.
19. see 18
20. Aww, just one? Fuckassshit. There.
21. Hubby and D1
22. Red
23. Aging? Moi? I guess…
24. Right
25. Answered such a long fucking survey on myself before. Oh! I also have never been to Paris…my future home.
Hope you found this enlightening. I know I did!
Fuck yes you can curse here!
Thank You for answering all of these questions- this will help with my ‘spotlight’…
6- good answer!
12- AWESOME!
15. Amen!
16. PERFECT answer!
25. You are super gold star shiny for doing so!
4. HATE the teletubbies!
10. Does that work?
14. Oh! I forgot I like Criminal Minds too, but I forget to watch it.
18. I’m not allowed to BBQ. My hair is way too flammable.
Ah ha … now we’re even … you hate Dancing with the Stars and I hate soccer.
Ahhhhhh! But frank, I would LOVE DWTS if YOU were on it!
Oh I like that idea of singing Rapsody in Blue in the car to annoy your kids! I may start doing that whenever 37 starts saying something I don’t want to hear. (And I would sing it just like you do too!)
1) Honey
2) The reverential and always to the point ‘jackass’
3) Act like an ass. Which is pretty much my usual behavior.
4) Was the purple fucker Barney on PBS?
5) I bake WAY more than I cook. So sugar, brown sugar, chocolate and any other ingredient in a cookie, pie, cake, cupcake or dessert.
6) The guy in Bridesmaids who fixed the character Annie’s car. But he spelled it with a “z”.
7) By paying someone else to do it
8) Just this one I can’t seem to shake
9) Neither on my ass or on my plate
10) An in-law. I told her that I was really hurt by another in-laws snubbery/stand-offishness. Actually, I could care less if I never see the bitch again. I’ll let you try and guess which one.
11) Smirnoff Ice Triple Black flavor.
12) Thong checker at the local male strip club.
13) Toddlers and Tiaras. Or as it should be called Moms-who-are-determined-to-exploit-their-YOUNG-daughters-and-then-won’t-understand-why-they-grow-into-narcissistic-idiots-later-on. How ’bout a little truth in advertising, TLC?
14) Criminal procedures dramas, shows on Investigation Discovery, Fashion Police.
15) If I wasn’t so busy being an awesome wife and mother, I’d have a rock star life.
16) Baking
17) Baking, painting decorative art for the house, being funny
18) Being a friend. Who cusses a lot.
19) According to my husband, I lead the league in shoes downstairs.
20) Fuck. It can be a noun, verb, adjective or adverb. And for those skilled enough, all in the same sentence.
21) I prefer to laugh WITH people. My husband finds the guests on Maury to be very entertaining.
22) Dark brown/black with red highlights. But mother nature is graying me rapidly, that evil bitch. So there’s a lot of not-so-natural hair color going on. The drapes still match the carpet, people.
23) Define gracefully.
24) Closes to the wall/window
25) Complete the following sentence: I have never … met a group of in-laws more annoying than those my husband is related to.
Have you met some of MY in-laws??
Thanx for signing up to follow my little angst-outlet. It may be humorous, educational or entertaining, just never Hotspur silly-funny.
Ha! You don’t need to be ‘Hotpsur silly-funny’, you only need be ‘Archons Den’ silly funny!
All right! I’ll answer your damned nosy poll too.
1 Censored!
2 There are two cops and a priest on site to ensure it stays censored.
3 My “Kid” is your age, just continuing to breathe pisses him off.
4 See above. At my age, I didn’t even know there were cartoons on PBS….what the Hell is PB….what was the question?
5 Anything Tex-mex. Shredded cheddar and lettuce, rice, sour cream. God himself invented Chili Powder, but then he shut down the local Taco Bell. Wah!
6 The son, Montmorency. Bill wanted nothing but boys, and this kid had to swim the Estrogen Strait every morning to get to school.
7 I’m a guy. We are not allowed to clean toilets. I brushed out two about a year ago because the wife hadn’t for about three weeks, and took shit because I didn’t add the magical Ka-Boom cleaner. Apparently the wife prefers toilets 100% dirty to 99% clean.
8 Half. On a good day, three-quarters.
9 No. Like, and eat, a lot of cheeses, but cottage cheese ain’t tryin’ hard enough. It’s just milk soup.
10 Too many to keep track. Anybody about anything. Tact is usually better than truth, especially to women, especially, especially to wife women. Cuts down on the *discussions*. It’s not hard, so I fake forgetful/stupid.
11 Imported/craft beer. Heineken Dark is as good as chocolate. Mead is nice, mixed with apple juice, cold, as a cocktail or hot, in a toddy.
12 After 50 years of nightmare jobs, my dream is continued healthy retirement.
13 I like and watch about four shows. If I don’t like the looks of the promos, I ignore and forget. Judging by comments in places like this, there’s even worse drek than I was aware of. Of course, I’m Canadian. We have laws against importing drek. We produce our own BORING drek.
14 The few I like are going bad so quickly. CSI Miami went soap opera and CSI Vegas is hot on its tail. CSI NY is on its third set of characters and full of itself. Bones is going soapy. The Finder had good potential, but they removed the snotty Brit bitch who was in the pilot. Mark Harmon and the kids from NCIS still get it done. NCIS LA is a whole different flavor, but better than Toddlers.
15 You’ve obviously confused me with someone who could be bothered to think.
16 Is reading a hobby, or just a pastime? Keeping my brain awake and my language skills barely adequate through several daily crossword puzzles. This new blogging thing benefits from both.
17 Napping, pretending I didn’t hear the wife.
18 Coatholding. For most of my abilities, I can set the bar at *barely acceptable*, and still walk under it.
19 Sominex just called to tell me to cut back, or I was going to lose my amateur standing.
20 I am a refined gentleman, and refined gentlemen do not curse. I just let KayJai cut loose with a double shot of her usual, and nod wisely.
21The options are virtually endless. View Sparklebumps blog today. I’ll be sending her a list to make sure she doesn’t miss any mirth-producing targets.
22 I’m a guy. It used to be natually black. I’m not an old fart, so it can’t be grey. It’s naturally sexy silver, and it improves my standup routine. Every time I say that, people laugh and laugh.
23 On the outside, yes. On the inside, see KayJai reference above.
24 I’m an OLD guy. The one closest to the bathroom.
25 Complete this sentence. I don’t even remember being convicted. I have never….been so glad to finish a questionair.
You get an A+++ for finishing the questionaire!
Yay! You can stay!
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