Walking in Dysfunction WonderLand

Ahhhh, December- the lovely month of dysfunction at it’s finest, constant stress and Passive Aggressive behavior. In honor of this blessed season, I have re-written a popular Holiday Song that sums up my own personal feelings regarding the things mentioned above.

Sooo, instead of  ‘Walking in a Winter Wonderland’, I give you, without further adieu…….



Sleigh Bells ring, are you listening?

In the Lane, Rage is glistening.

A typical sight,

We’re all pissed off tonite,

Walking in Dysfunction WonderLand.

Gone away is the Romance,

Here to stay is ‘You’ve Got No Chance’,

She sings a hateful song,

As she goes along,

Walking in Dysfunction WonderLand.

In the BackYard we can build your DogHouse,

And pretend that you are not a Louse.

Some say ‘Are You Married’?

I say ‘Hell Yes Man’!

But we do a good job of fooling the town.

Later on, I’ll conspire,

As I light your clothes on fire,

To face un-afraid,

The Bitch I’ve been made,

Walking in Dysfunction WonderLand.

In the front yard I will build a Snowman,

That reminds me of you cuz you’re an arrogant clown.

I’ll have lots of fun with Mr. Snowman,

When I take the bat and knock it down.

Your cold shoulder, it’s not thrillin’,

Though your snub is sure chillin’.

Don’t frolic and play, the old Douche-Bag way,

Walking in Dysfunction WonderLand.

Thank you, Thank you- your applause for my comedic genius is not necessary, not necessary at all! Really, stop! You are making me blush!

17 thoughts on “Walking in Dysfunction WonderLand

  1. Lol, I loved the snowman-arrogant-clown-baseball-bat verse best! Few things more fun than making a dysfunction parody.
    Though I personally think that song is silly to begin with.
    “…Later on, we’ll conspire, as we dream by the fire…”
    Since when does conspire mean anything good? Yet somehow it finds a way into one of the iconic Christmas songs we have today. Okaaay…

    • Sure! Give me a song you would like me to re-write, and I will try my best. However, I must warn you, my creativeness is in direct proportion to how pissed off I am with my husband at the time, so beware….

  2. Reblogged this on OhMyGawd, Just Do What I Say! and commented:

    We are getting ready to head out so we can cut down our Christmas tree, and no one- not ONE of us- is in a ‘cut down our Christmas tree kind of mood. We are all in more of a ‘cut your toe off on purpose’ kind of mood.
    Anyway, this whole ‘not in such a good mood thing’ reminded me of a fun litttle ditty I ‘wrote’ last year around this exact time!

    Enjoy, again!!

  3. Pingback: Saturday Poetry – Elite Ghosts « Lyrical Anarchy


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